So, you’re looking for ways to come out and need ideas?
You’re in the right place! Well done for getting to this stage. Coming out takes a lot of courage, as everyone who has come out knows. Keep going, and I hope these ways to come out will help you with the next step. Let’s get started.
Are these the only possible ways to come out?
Definitely not! There are as many possible ways as you can think of. These 7 ways to come out are a great starting point though, especially if it’s your first time doing this. This post covers all the standard and most common ways to come out, so everything you need to get started is here!
1) Telling someone in person:
This is probably the most common way you’ll see someone coming out, as far as the media shows us anyway. In any TV show or film that has a character come out, they most likely used this method. Is it the best option for you though? Here are the pros and cons of this method:
- Firstly, it’s very personal, which can bring you closer to someone.
- You can also see their immediate reaction, so what they are thinking is clearer.
- If they aren’t accepting, however, then you’ll have to deal with their reaction face to face.
- They don’t get time to think about how to respond or react, so they might react in a way they then regret.
- It can also make you feel very vulnerable.
2) Telling someone over text:
This is definitely the easiest way to come out to someone who doesn’t live nearby. It also helps people who find it hard to talk about these topics out loud. If you’re shy or just can’t say the words you want to out loud, then this method might be the one for you!
- You and the person both have time to plan what you want to say.
- A pre-planned message can be easier to understand than an emotional conversation.
- It feels much less vulnerable than telling someone face to face.
- If they don’t respond, you might not know if they’ve seen it or not.
- It can be difficult to express all of your feelings in writing for some people.
- The conversation could be screenshotted, shown to others, or kept against your wishes.
3) Making a social media post:
This is a much newer way to come out compared to the rest on this list. This way is mostly used to tell online friends easily and to tell them all at once. It can be used to tell anyone you want who you think will see it. Keep in mind though that a more personal approach might suit your personal relationships better.
- It doesn’t have to involve further conversations with anyone.
- You can tell many people at once, too.
- You can post a video, picture or just text, depending on what you’d like.
- You can’t tell who has seen it.
- You could face hate online.
- People you didn’t intend to tell could see it.
4) Writing a coming out letter:
This is basically the same as the text message way, except it’s on paper. Handwriting a letter can be much more fun and can show your creativity. Doodles? Stickers? Colourful pens? All sound good! It has some interesting pros and cons that are different though.
- It can be kept as a special item.
- It isn’t kept online anywhere, and you don’t need internet access for it.
- You and the person both have time to think about what you want to say before communicating.
- It can be difficult to express your feelings in writing.
- The letter could get lost or read by someone else.
- Depending how long the message is, it could take a while to write it out by hand.
5) Making a video to send to someone:
This is another newer way to come out. Similarly to writing a letter, you can let your creativity run wild- special effects and fun edits are just the tip of the iceberg of things you could do. Alternatively, you could film the video in one take with no editing. There’s nothing wrong with keeping the video raw either- both are equally valid. The fun of making the video really adds to the coming out experience in my opinion.
- The person can see and hear you but you don’t have to be there with them.
- It’s like you’re actually talking to them.
- You might lose track of what you’ve said.
- It might take several tries to film a video you’re happy with.
- It won’t be as neat and concise as writing.
6) Telling someone on a call:
This is almost the same as telling someone in person, but feels very different. If you want to come out to someone who lives far away though, being there in person might not be possible so this method is the closest you can get.
- You are having a direct conversation.
- You can also end the call if they react badly.
- If they aren’t accepting then you will have to see and deal with a bad reaction from them as it happens.
- They lack time to think about their response, and might say something they regret.
7) Making a joke:
Now, this is definitely the least conventional on this list, but is the most fun by far. Dropping a phrase like “I’m as straight as that circle” or “I put the bi in b*tch” is a really lighthearted and informal way to come out.
- It’s very simple and easy to do.
- It can make people laugh.
- Not everyone will get the joke straight away, if at all.
- Some people might think you’re joking about coming out, as you’re using a joke already
So, you now have 7 ways to come out…
It’s time to choose which method works for you. There’s no right or wrong because each coming out is as unique as the person doing it. Ultimately they all lead you to the same ending- telling someone who you are. Good luck!
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Stay safe and have a good day.